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It feels like the beginning of a new chapter in my motherhood journey that’s filled with more joy.
As DJ chases the robins around the yard and Coco wobbles behind him I breath in the fresh spring air. I let it fill my lungs and feel the expansive and transformative energy of spring. It feels like a beginning, a new chapter filled with more joy.
It’s been a really beautiful and intense period of discovering who I am as a mom. Now, it feels like the beginning of a new chapter – a chapter with more of the good stuff. I’m focusing more of what brings me joy and less on trying to fit into anyone else’s definition of what a ‘good’ mom looks like.
The momentum of working on a project brings me joy.
Part of defining motherhood for myself is nurturing the momentum I feel being a creator and working on a project. This is a piece of me that was left behind as I stumbled to find my way in motherhood. I feel so grateful to have rediscovered it.
I’m so proud and excited to be launching a project that brings me so much joy – the Mothering Joy Podcast. This podcast is for all the mamas out there, especially the ones navigating the season of having young kids.
It’s a place where I tell stories of learning to be a grace filled keeper of the two beautiful children God has entrusted me with. I celebrate the joys of motherhood but also get real about the trenches young moms find themselves in and how we can nurture joy in the daily grind.
I talk about all things motherhood, mindset, health, and home and share encouraging stories of life as a stay-at-home mama in the rural midwest.
My cup is full because I’m nurturing my passions.
I’ve redefined motherhood for myself as a title that has more room for me and the things that bring me joy. And my cup is so much more full. I’m able to show up as a better mom and better wife. The role of “mom” doesn’t feel as heavy as it used to. I’ve balanced the things that are hard with things that are really joyful.
There are still plenty of challenges in raising young kids but now the hard things don’t define the day. The joyful things that I’ve made space for every day do. These things look like starting my day quietly by myself working on projects thats fill me up. It looks like making time for snuggles and play with my kids. And making time to hang out with my husband after the kids are sleeping.
I’m choosing joy every day.
In the past, I wasn’t able to live into my blessings like I know I’m meant to. I was always plagued by fear, worry, and feeling like I wasn’t enough. Now, I’m able to cultivate joy even when life doesn’t go as planned. This really shows me how some changes towards an abundant mindset have taken root in my heart. Now, I realize that joy is a choice. Joy comes from deep inside of me, it’s not fleeting and circumstantial. It comes from choosing abundance and a grateful heart every day.
This is the heart behind the Mothering Joy Podcast. It’s about the joys of motherhood but it’s also about nurturing joy in the seasons that are tough. Because God puts us in all kinds places we wouldn’t have chosen for ourselves. He puts us there because there’s something for us. That’s the place in which we’re meant to grow and become closer to the person he’s created us to be.
These are the trenches that we find ourselves in as young moms. It’s important to remember that there are also so many others here with us, doing the work, feeling the feels, wiping the poop, cleaning the dishes, kissing the boo boos, navigating these really complex and profound emotions right along side singing the Blippi excavator song on cue. I want to create a place where we are here together and we can share about it and encourage each other and lift each other up when we need it most.
I leaned back in my chair and stared into the twinkling lights of the Christmas tree letting it sink in. The realization I had doing my 2022 reflection was both validating and humbling. I realized that God’s plan for me this year had been a heck of a lot different than mine.
My plan was comfort, health, support, ease.
God’s plan was growth. God’s plan was giving me much more than I felt comfortable carrying so I could learn how strong I truly am. It was putting chronic illness in my son so we could start our journey to true health. It was putting space between me and people I leaned on so I could find the support I so desperately sought within myself. It was putting obstacles in my path so I could learn to trust my ability to navigate them.
Where my plan kept me in the same place, God’s plan moved me in the direction of the person he wants me to be.
Seeing the difference in the two I felt validated because it explained why the year had been challenging. But I also felt humbled realizing how resistant I’d been to the hard things God was placing in front of me.
This year I want to receive life with open arms instead of holding my fists up in a fighter’s stance deflecting the things that don’t feel comfortable or certain. I want to hold on more loosely to my own plans and open my heart to God’s plan for me. I want to be less resistant to the hard things and trust that they are happening for me and the person I’m becoming.
I’m looking to 2023 and instead of searching for smoother seas, I’m trusting that the breeze is taking me exactly where I’m supposed to go. I’m certain that the storms I’ve navigated so far have prepared me to face the ones awaiting me and any more ahead are equipping me for what lies further still.
I needed to create a gorgeous gender neutral nursery when I was pregnant with our first baby. I was so excited to curate the perfect nursery for our sweet baby but all the gender neutral nurseries I saw online were so boring.
First, I needed to pick the perfect theme for the nursery
To create a cozy, gender neutral nursery that wasn’t boring I needed to start with a design theme. I chose a woodland theme because it could go so many directions and bring texture and warmth into the room (not to mention how cute woodland animals are).
Then, I needed to pick what pieces I was going to invest in
Another challenge for the nursery was deciding which pieces to invest in. Having non-toxic products in baby’s room was important to me and so was supporting brands I believe in. But, of course, we had a budget to consider.
Crib. The crib was an investment piece for us. We chose the Nest Crib from Room And Board. It’s built by one of the few remaining US family owned crib makers. We love that it’s made from solid wood and has non-toxic paint and lacquer.
Dresser. When buying furniture for the nursery, I really wanted to invest in pieces that were versatile and could transition with us through the years. That’s why for the changing station we decided to go with a dresser that could function as a changing station for baby now and would still work for us as baby gets older. We love this dark green color for the dresser because it adds color interest to the room but also works as a neutral that fits with the other colors in the room.
Rug. We love our non-toxic 100% wool rug from Hook and Loom. This is another piece I really wanted to invest in because it’ll work so well for us as baby gets older and can even transition into another room if we need it to. We kept the color a nice neutral gray so it can work in a lot of different spaces.
Lastly, I needed to decide where I was going to DIY
Drapes. These babies were made by yours truly. I got the fabric from a fabric outlet that sells dead-stock fabric that designers and brands didn’t use. I love purchasing fabric this way because it’s sustainable and budget friendly.
Rocking chair. I found this big rocking chair second hand on Facebook Marketplace. We had plans to paint this guy but the natural wood was so pretty and paired perfectly with the other pieces in the room.
Art. The wall art came together super simply with a really low budget. I re-created two prints that I loved from the brand on Illustrator. I printed them on Vista print and put them in old frames I already had.
I thought to be a good mom I had to be the do-it-all mom
I wanted to be a homeschool mom, a successful small business owner, a savvy home cook, an expert gardener, an avid exerciser…the list goes on. I envisioned a life filled with things that mattered. But the more I tried to be the do-it-all mom the more I felt the stress of a life that was bursting at the seams.
It wasn’t sustainable
I felt myself constantly speeding up and rushing through my days to get it all done. It made me realize that I don’t want to be the mom who does it all. I want to be the mom who does only the most important things and has the capacity to do them with grace, presence, and appreciation. So I started slowly carving away the things I thought were necessary to make space for the things that are worthwhile.
I decided to do only the worthwhile things
It’s taken a while but I’m finally wrapping my head and my heart around what the worthwhile things are. Sometimes they are more glamorous, like drawing up plans for the house we want to build. Usually they are more humble, like finally finding the perfect sourdough flatbread recipe. They can be challenging, like sitting with my toddler who’s having a tantrum. Most of the time they are simple, like snuggling my baby girl after she nurses in the morning.
I’m learning that what’s worthwhile in my heart changes with the season of life I’m in. I’m recognizing what’s worthwhile are the things that fill my cup up. Sometimes I find them by choosing the easy path but often times I need to lean in and be in the trenches to see them. Doing-it-all doesn’t make me a good mom. It actually takes away from the mom I really want to be. So I’m letting go of doing all the things so that I can rest in the worthwhile moments that I want to make up my life.
I was on the verge of burnout
Have you ever avoided a hard question when the answer had the potential to change your life?
For me, it happened when I was pregnant with my second baby and I realized I was on the verge of burnout. It was an afternoon in mid August and my one-year-old was napping upstairs. The sticky summer air was drifting in the open patio door. I was sitting with a pen in my hand and my belly tucked under the kitchen table.
I finally asked myself the question I’d been avoiding
On the table was the list I’d made of things to get done in my third trimester before the baby arrived. My list spanned everything from frozen meal prep and nursery organization to designing and sewing fall styles for my clothing brand. As I looked at it I felt an uneasiness in my chest.
Ever since graduating college, through my job as a seamstress, my dad’s cancer, my marriage, my move to rural Wisconsin and the birth of my son, growing my sustainable clothing brand was what I’d been working towards. But as I became a wife, a mom, and a homemaker, the title of budding-small-business-owner became harder and harder to wear. It started to compete with the other things I wanted to be.
As I looked at my list I finally allowed myself to ask the question I’d been avoiding. What on this list do I actually want to do?
What do I want?
Life had remolded the desires in my heart
I watched my one-year-old sleep on the baby monitor and felt his sister kick in my belly. It was so clear how fleeting this time was. I wanted to be present for it.
I wanted to enjoy the last trimester of pregnancy and feel like I had space for rest and preparation. I wanted to nurture health and happiness in myself, my babies, my marriage, and my home. I wanted space to enjoy this season of life.
The truth was, life had remolded the desires in my heart and I needed to humble myself to what was meant for me right now. I had to accept that being ‘just’ a mom was enough. It’s more than enough.
This is my ‘mom blog’ where I can’t wait to share my motherhood journey with you.
