Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Cloth diapering was something I considered for a long time
Cloth diapers came onto my radar when I was pregnant with my first born. I wanted to raise my baby as responsibility as possible but it felt so overwhelming to figure out what that really looked like as a first time mom. It felt like every choice I had to make involved so many factors.
One of those hard choices was if I was going to use cloth diapers or disposable. I ended up making the investment to cloth diaper my son and I failed. I lasted a few months and then abandoned them. Thankfully I built up my courage to try them again with my daughter after my son was out of diapers and so far I’ve been able to cloth diaper her successfully.
I’m breaking down why I failed the first time and the things I changed the second time around.
EPISODE LINKS (Contains some affiliate links)
The cloth diapers I use.
Toups and Co skincare
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
I used to think breakfast had to be loaded with veggies to be nourishing
If you would have asked me five years ago if I thought an egg muffin sandwich was a nourishing breakfast option I would have said ‘no way’. Now I wrap up two of them every night for Joe to take to work and I feel so good about the nourishment they will give him. This humble breakfast sandwich represents the evolution of my health journey. It’s simple, convenient, flavorful and was years in the making. Now, this from scratch egg muffin (and some strong coffee) make our mornings glorious.
EPISODE LINKS (Contains some affiliate links)
My breakfast sandwich recipe
Should We Eat Grains Wise Traditions Podcast Episode
Vegetarian Diet In Pregnancy : Nutrients Of Concern Article by Lily Nichols
Real Food For Pregnancy Book by Lily Nichols
Einkorn Flour from Jovial Foods
I was trying to fit my old versions of health into my new life
The pile of root vegetables had been sitting on the counter for weeks. They stared at me every time I walked by reminding me how far away I was from the life that I’d become comfortable with. In that life I was certain about what health looked like. I was minutes away from health food stores and fancy fitness clubs. I had my support system right next to me.
When I married my husband and suddenly I was a new homemaker in a small town I didn’t know with none of the conveniences I was used to. I was trying to make a home of my own in a rented house that was 400 miles away from my family. Changing my opinions of what a healthy and happy life looked like was not something I was prepared to navigate. But it was clear that trying to fit my old versions of health and ways of doing things into my new life wasn’t working.
The most obvious opinion I held that wasn’t working for me anymore was my belief that a plant based diet was the healthiest. I’d been primarily plant-based when I was living in the suburbs of Minneapolis and it worked for me there. But trying to keep it up without easy access to fresh, organic vegetables while feeding a husband who worked a physical job all day (and much preferred a steak to a cabbage) was exhausting. One fall morning my will to keep fighting for a plant-based diet for us was finally broken by a root vegetable bake.
My will to keep fighting for a plant-based diet was finally broken by a root vegetable breakfast bake
In an effort to eat locally and organically after moving to Wisconsin I had joined a CSA. Here, I picked up in-season vegetables from a nearby farm every two weeks. I was so excited about joining a CSA. I was sure it would be the answer to making plant-based work in a rural area. But there was a problem. Getting vegetables from a CSA wasn’t like driving to my health food store and having my pick of whatever lovely, fresh vegetable I was in the mood for or my recipe called for. These were in-season local vegetables. This meant that, especially in the fall, my CSA box was filled with vegetables that I had no idea what to do with.
Root vegetables like rutabaga, beets, parsnips, and kohlrabi sat on my counter for days as I googled what to make with them. I finally gathered my courage to try a root vegetable bake. It seemed like the perfect thing to make ahead for my husband for weekday breakfasts. I spent hours peeling, chopping, mixing, and baking, all the while feeling so good about myself and my persistence in making healthy meals for us.
The next morning Joe and I sat down at the kitchen table before the sun came up. In the dim light from the kitchen lamp Joe stared at the plate of what looked like chunky mush that I’d set in front of him. With the smell of earthly muck wafting towards him, Joe took a bite. I also took a bite although my optimism was dwindling with every passing second.
Unfortunately, the root vegetable bake did not taste better than it looked and after Joe left I scraped the whole thing into the garbage feeling completely defeated.
I found that healthfully raised animal foods are very nourishing
That day my stubbornness to make plant-based work for us was crushed. But my persistence to come up with a healthy diet that worked for our lifestyle wasn’t. Once spring came I returned to the local farmer’s market. This time I had a more open mind. I started to appreciate the important role that animal products had there. Next to their produce farmers had coolers full of fresh eggs, whole chickens, lamb shanks and short ribs .(not to mention the fresh cheese curds, this is Wisconsin after all).
Talking with farmers and learning about the foods they were growing and raising made me realize how disconnected I’d been from my food. I realized that my old version of health left much to be desired. The imported power greens and boxed vegetable stock from my health food stores paled in comparison to the fresh lettuce and homemade chicken stock made with fresh, local ingredients.
That root vegetable bake was one of the best things that happened to me on my health journey because it forced to me take a different path. This path ended up being a truer and more authentic version of health for me.
As my focus shifted to raising healthy kids I was affirmed in my choice to reincorporate animal foods into our diet. I found resource after resource that advocated for the importance of animal foods in raising young kids. One of my favorites is Real Foods For Pregnancy by Lily Nicholas. Lily says that crucial nutrients for healthy brain development like vitamin B12 and choline are found primarily in animal foods.
Nourishing breakfast foods are made from scratch from quality ingredients
To find healthful foods to nourish my family I started looking at how the plants and animals we were eating were grown and raised. I started paying attention to how I needed to prepare our food so that it could be easily digested and what foods I needed to incorporate to promote strong gut health.
A breakfast sandwich is a great example of a meal that could be loaded with toxins and empty calories. But it can be very clean and nourishing depending on how the ingredients are prepared. My breakfast sandwich started as something that I didn’t feel super good about giving Joe. It consisted of your standard store bought english muffins, pre-made frozen sausage, and sliced cheese. It worked well for us at the time because it was quick to assemble, filling, and Joe loved it. In the season that followed the root vegetable bake that’s what I needed.
As I learned more about nourishing foods I realized that I could make this convenient and delicious sandwich much more healthful without losing the convince or tastiness. One by one I began to switch out the store bought ingredients for more nourishing from scratch versions. I made the english muffins and sausages in batches and froze them so that assembly was just as quick as it was with the store bought ingredients.
Switching to nourishing versions of all the breakfast sandwich ingredients made a convenient breakfast I’m proud to feed my family
I switched my store bought eggs to pasture raised eggs from my neighbors and the farmers market. Pasture raised eggs have higher levels of vitamins A, E, and D and more than double the Omega-3 than conventionally grown eggs. I swapped the store bought cheese slices for raw aged cheese. This fermented dairy product has high levels of vitamin K and beneficial probiotics. I ditched the store bought sausages that were filled with ingredients like corn syrup and MSG in favor of homemade patties. These homemade sausages are a tasty and clean protein. Lastly, I started making my own nourishing english muffins free of the bleached wheat flour, preservatives, and soybean oil that are in store-bought varieties. I use a sourdough starter and THIS ancient grain to make my own easy-to-digest version that promotes gut health.
My version of the breakfast sandwich is so much more than a convenient breakfast food. It represents my health evolution and my resilience and persistence to find a version of health that was authentic to my family. I wrap Joe’s breakfast sandwiches up every night and on the evenings when I’m really feeling the feels I think back to being in that dim kitchen in our first home together. I think about how far I’ve come since my run in with the root vegetable bake and how much more confident and adaptable I am now. I’m so thankful for the deeper connection I have to my food and my more robust understanding of health. The lessons I’ve learned along the way allow me to nourish my family with from scratch foods made with my own two hands.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
This moment in the garden with my son made me realize what true success looks like.
I remember last August I was in the garden with my son I had a moment. I looked down at him in his diaper and bare feet. He was holding out a cherry tomato with a huge grin on his face. I had the overwhelming validation of this is why I’m doing this. My garden was not the pillar of success. Most of the tomato plants got blight, countess peppers suffered from blossom rot, onions grew only to the size of golf ball, and ground squirrels helped themselves to ALL of my lettuce. But I was still able to stand there with my two-year-old son and experience his joy picking the very fruit he ‘helped’ me plant just a few months earlier.
As I prepare for this summer’s garden I’m remembering that is what success looks like for me. So I’m starting my seeds, ordering my compost, and planning where I’ll put my nightshades. But more importantly, I’m getting my heart right, learning from last year’s mistakes, and keeping it simple. These are the things that will make my gardening season a true success regardless of the harvest.
Episode links
Toups and Co has all my favorite natural skincare and make-up. Use code MOTHERINGJOY10 at checkout for 10% off 🙂
The Mother Earth New Garden Planner is tool I use to plan my garden.
THIS is a great article on winter sowing seeds.
HERE is a very helpful video about no dig gardening method
Getting my heart right in the garden
I might be far from living like the homesteading mamas that inspired me when I first became a homemaker. But that’s okay. I’m also a long way from that suburban girl who grew up with almost no connection to where her food came from. I followed my husband to the rolling hills of Wisconsin six years ago. I had a whole new world open up to me. Suddenly, I was envisioning a future filled with big gardens, pantries of saved fruits and vegetables, and children that were nourished with fresh, local and organic food all year long.
There was a problem with this vision though. As I started to close the gap between where I was and where I wanted to be I started connecting my successes and failures in growing and preserving food directly to my successes and failures as a mother and homemaker. This made it all feel so overwhelming and burdensome.
I’m reframing my time spent gardening
This year, I’m reframing my time spent gardening, fermenting, canning and freeze-drying. This is time spent for me and my personal growth not of part of my obligations to be a ‘good’ mom and homemaker. I want to be someone who does these things with ease. I’m growing into a mom who is an example for my kids on how to hold their food as sacred.
It’s a journey. More often than not I get it wrong. But when I get it right my soul swells with pride. I know that mastery of these things is fundamental to the person I want to be. But I need to hold them loosely and remember that it’s all for joy. I want to bring my kids along with me, through the failures, as we build something really special.
Learning from last year’s failures in the garden.
As I sit down to plan my garden this year I realize how much I’ve learned from my past failures. I’m reminded that there’s really no such thing as failure as long as you find the purpose in it. Gardening is a really tangible example of how how failure moves you in another direction. If one way of doing things isn’t working then you adjust until you find the methods for success. There is as much to be gained from failing as there is succeeding. I’m slowing gaining a more robust understanding of the conditions I need to create for my plants to thrive.
Winter sowing seeds.
One of the new things I’m trying is winter sowing my seeds. In the past I’ve started the plants that need longer growing periods inside. Starting seeds indoors has many factors that you need to get right like correct light and watering. It takes a lot of work and I have failed at it multiple times.
This year I’m trying a method of starting seeds that seems much simpler. It’s called winter sowing seeds. This is where you take cool season crops and you actually start them outside in milk jugs. The milk jugs create a mini green house that has all the conditions the plant needs to grow. Plants that work well for this are crops that do well in cooler weather. Examples are chives, cabbage, carrots, leek, lettuce, onions. This will work for almost all the plants in my garden. The only warm weather crops I want to grow are tomatoes and peppers. For those, I will buy plants that have already been started from my favorite farmers.
Abandoning Square Foot Gardening method.
I’ve been doing the Square Foot Gardening method in my garden for the past five years. For most plants this seems to work. I like the idea of planting more in a smaller amount of space. But there are some plants that really grow too large for the square foot method. Tomatoes are one such plant.
The 12″ cages were too flimsy to hold up my tomato plants so they fell over. The plants grew so large that they grew into each other. I didn’t have the space I needed to prune them and keep them healthy. This is why all my tomatoes plants got blight and didn’t do very well. Blight is a very common plant disease that typically comes when fungus from the soil is passed to the plants.
Watering from the ground
I’m setting up a watering system that will be much more efficient and effective than overhead watering. I’m just poking holes into a garden hose and putting it on a timer. There’s really nothing fancy about this and it’s relatively low cost and low labor. One of factors why my tomatoes got blight could have been from watering the plants from the top. This can cause the soil to splash onto the plants which can pass disease from soil to plant. By putting the water on a timer I can further help my plants by ensuring they get consistent watering. Hopefully this year I can avoid blossom rot on my peppers which can come from inconsistent watering.
Keeping it simple in the garden
One big way I’m simplifying the work I’m doing in the garden is asking for help from my husband. This will, no doubt, be super annoying because he naturally has a green thumb that I was not blessed with. But the reality is, with two little kids and a full summer, I need help. So I’m tucking away my pride and accepting that he will just know things that six years of learning the hard way hasn’t taught me. And that’s okay. With him as a partner in the garden we will go much further. It’s so much more enjoyable to have someone to share the wins and loses with. Along with asking for help there are a few other ways I’m simplifying.
Only planting vegetables I know we’ll eat
This year I’ve been super intentional about planning the meals we’re eating. I’ve gone so far as to put the same meals on a small rotation. This has really streamlined meal planning and prep for me. It also lets me know exactly the foods we are eating. This is super helpful information when it comes to choosing what foods I want to grow myself. No longer will I waste garden space and energy growing things like beans and cucumbers. These are super popular plants to grow but I found that my family just wasn’t eating them. So instead, I’m sticking with the humble foods I found we actually eat a lot of. Foods like carrots, potatoes, and onions. (add part about potager garden and salsa garden to podcast)
“No Dig” gardening method
Another new method I’m trying this year is the “No Dig” method. In this method you mulch with cardboard and compost over weeds and then planting directly into compost. It seems pretty straightforward. You just lay cardboard on your grass/weeds, put compost on top of that, and plant into it. In theory the cardboard prevents weeds from growing because they can’t get any light. I’m really excited to try this method!
I’m finding joy in the lessons of the garden
As the sun lights the sky a little earlier each morning and lingers a little longer each evening I feel the stiring inside of me. I feel the anticipation of warm days spent outside in soil planting, pruning, and harvesting. I look forward to trips to the farmer’s market and returning with fresh veggies and beautiful flowers for my table. I can almost taste the fresh salads picked from the lettuce on my deck toped with homemade blueberry vinaigrette.
Although the season is short preserving our harvest lets us bring its joy with us into the colder seasons. I can look forward to warming saved pears and oatmeal over the stove, opening a jar of canned jalapeños, and simmering soup made with vegetables I pulled out of my garden (and the farmer’s market) this summer.
These simple and beautiful ways of celebrating our food and nourishing our bodies require a lot of work. Some days the effort feels great and the reward feels small but it’s an important piece in the life I want for myself and my family. I am putting my hands to something that is so rewarding. I feel it when I pull vibrant peppers, plump tomatoes, and fistfuls of large, crunchy onions out of the ground. And although a large, bountiful harvest is what any gardener strives for it’s equally rewarding to simply share the process with my kids. I might yield a tiny harvest but sharing it with tiny hands finds the joy in the work and the lessons.
I am by no means an expert gardening, I really feel like a beginner even though this is my sixth year having a garden. Please let me know if you like gardening/food preserving episodes.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
On my daughter’s first birthday I celebrated her and also my rebirth as a mother
It was a rather rocking journey learning to be a mom to my first born. On my daughter’s first birthday I realized that her birth was also my rebirth to mothering my son.
Episode links
SHOP Toups and Co Organics for beautiful, natural skin care and make-up. Use code MOTHERINGJOY10 at checkout for 10% your order
GET my prayer for young moms download HERE
Baking her birthday cake with my son felt like a mountain top moment in my motherhood journey
I set his pumpkin pajamaed booty on the counter next to the array of ingredients that will soon become Caroline’s first birthday cake. He always wants to be right in on the action. Although we only have a few hours until party time I remind myself how special and fleeting this time with him is and welcome his little hands into the mess.
He quickly gets to work helping me pour the flour into the mixing bowl and over most of the floor. We crack eggs. We measure sugar. His eyes light up when he flips the switch on my Kitchen Aid mixer and watches the wire whisk barrel through the smattering of ingredients turning them into perfectly smooth batter.
I help him diligently scrape the batter into the cake pan and think about how much has changed in this kitchen since the last time I attempted to bake this cake. A year ago I was planning to try out a new caramel apple cake recipe for my niece’s birthday when our sweet Caroline Joy came into the world three weeks early. The ingredients got tucked into the pantry and the cake pan was stashed into the Lazy Susan as we hibernated into our fall home with one more little bear among us.
God knew that I needed to know the mother I am to Caroline
As we grew into the roles God had planned for us it became so clear why he put Caroline in our lives when he did. When he placed the desire for a second baby in my heart I was very much still finding my footing as a mom to a wild eleven-month-old. I couldn’t have know that nine months later everything would come so naturally with Caroline. From how comfortably she nursed to how she snuggled into my chest to take naps I found an ease in being Caroline’s mom when I had always felt unqualified to be DJs.
God knew that I needed to know the mother I am to Caroline. I needed to know the mom who is confident and joy filled – the mom who is proud of how she’s raising two tiny, wonderful humans. She judges herself so much less harshly than she used to and navigates the hard things with a grace that was never there before.
This last year has changed how I see myself as a mom. It’s given me a relationship with my daughter it’s redefined my relationship with my son.
The past year has given me a relationship with my daughter it’s been a rebirth of my relationship with my son
This last year has changed how I see myself as a mom. It’s given me a relationship with my daughter it’s redefined my relationship with my son.
I give my little man a squeeze and put the cake in the oven. The scents of warming apples and sugar waft through the house as we put on our party clothes. I can’t help but think that celebrating my sweet girl’s birthday is also a celebration of my rebirth as a mother.
We pull the cake out of the oven and drizzle caramel over the top. I sneak a bite and it’s so good. It’s the best cake I’ve ever made and I had the privilege of making it with my son. The grandparents arrive. We eat cake and open presents. We have a wonderful time. But the part I will remember forever is baking that cake with my little boy.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
After having both a hospital birth and a home birth, I will definitely choose a home birth for baby number three.
I’m the mama of two beautiful babies born eighteen months apart. I delivered both of them naturally in water. My son was born at a birth center connected to a hospital and my daughter was born at home. After having both a home birth and a hospital birth, I will definitely choose a home birth for baby number three.
Episode links
CHECK OUT HYPNOBABIES and use code motheringjoy10 for 10% off
I was so nervous about the birth process as a first time mom
The relief I felt walking out the hospital doors after delivering my son made me realize how nervous I’d been about the whole birth experience. My husband carried our baby in the carseat and I waddled behind them. I breathed in the fresh air, feeling so thankful for a healthy baby boy and an uncomplicated birth.
There are so many unknowns for a first time mom going into labor. I know that the confidence I gained birthing my son in the hospital helped me have a better birth with my daughter at home. But there are a few other factors that made my home birth experience better than my hospital birth. I had a higher comfort level, better baby bonding, and more robust post-birth care.
1. Higher comfort level with my home birth
The biggest difference between my hospital birth and my home birth was how much more comfortable I was at home. I found myself in exactly the same place as I was eighteen months before almost to the day. I was sitting at the kitchen table in the middle of the night. Under the dim light I was scanning through my Hypnobabies book to find the early signs of labor.
I’d felt what I thought could be amniotic fluid leaking earlier that night but it was too early. I was only thirty-seven weeks. Less than forty eight hours later I was supposed to be standing up in my best friend’s wedding.
Nervously, I texted my midwife and she asked if I was feeling any contractions. I hadn’t been so far but very gradually they started. My husband was sleeping on the couch after getting back from Chicago for work just several hours earlier. He’d been working there all week. On a whim decided to come home so that we could drive together to the wedding the next day. As my contractions grew stronger I started thinking that this baby might have other plans. I was so thankful he was there with me.
My midwife came to me
I spent the next couple of hours in bed breathing through contractions and trying to figure out when I should ask the midwife to come. After trying to gauge how close I was to active labor over phone she suggested that I get into the bath tub to help me relax. Because she only lived fifteen minutes away we decided to wait a little longer before having her come.
When I stood up to get into the tub it was clear that this baby was ready to come. I suddenly began to feel pushy and told my husband to call the midwife. The blow up pool I’d ordered to give birth in had not arrived yet so I would be giving birth in our bathtub. It wasn’t as roomy as I would have liked but it worked. The midwife arrived and after three pushes we met our sweet little girl.
We didn’t have to drive to the hospital
What I loved about the home birth was not having to leave my house and go to the hospital. Knowing when it’s time to leave for the hospital can be stressful. One recommendation from my hypnobabies course was to not rush to the hospital. Often, first time moms will arrive to the hospital too early which can stall labor. So when I was in early labor with my son I stayed home as long as possible. In between painful contractions that had me stopping to breathe, I showered, I braided my hair, I packed my hospital bag.
We had a 45 minute drive to the hospital which was something I’d been nervous about. I squeezed into the front of Joe’s truck with all of our baby gear in the back. I put in my headphones and started listening to my meditation tracks.
I’m so thankful I had those tracks to keep me calm. I was able to keep breathing through my contractions and progressing labor on the way to the hospital. By the time we got into our delivery room I was fully dilated and ready to push. But needless to say, it was a pretty uncomfortable experience.
I trusted my home birth midwife
A huge part of my comfort level with Caroline was really trusting my home birth midwife. When I was in labor with my son, neither of the two midwives I’d been seeing were able to be there on the night of our baby’s birth. The nurse called the on-call doctor who was also trained in water births.
The nurse started filling the tub and by the time I was in and ready to start pushing, not only had the doctor arrived so had the mid-wife in training. It was such a relief to see a familiar face. This midwife had been at several of my appointments and I’m so thankful she was able to be there for our baby’s birth. She did a great job helping me find comfortable positions. She applied pressure to my back and helped me know when to push harder and when to rest.
Although I had a positive experience with my hospital care-givers, I didn’t have the level of trust that I built with my home birth midwife when I was pregnant with my daughter.
2. Better baby bonding with my home birth
I was lucky to have special bonding time with both of my babies. One of the most special memories I have from my son’s birth was snuggling with him on my chest just after being born. I saw he was a baby boy and it just felt so perfect. Everything felt as it was supposed to be.
Unfortunately, that only lasted a short time and before I knew it I was being ushered out of the tub. DJ was taken to be checked out. I felt like we were just being pushed through assembly line.
With Caroline the experience felt very different. Seconds after she was born. I held her close to me and we spent the next hour in the tub waiting for the placenta to detach and practicing nursing. I’m so thankful for that undisturbed time we had together.
When we were ready, our midwife helped me into bed and placed Caroline in my arms. We would spend the rest of the day and much of the upcoming weeks this way, cozied in our home together.
3. More robust postpartum care with my home birth
After my home birth I felt like a strong mama being cared for. After my hospital birth I felt like a patient being monitored. This difference was really noticeable when it came to how I felt as a new mama. Our home birth midwife was so wonderful in making sure I had everything I needed to feel comfortable and confident caring for myself and my new baby.
One-on-one care from my home birth midwife
After my hospital birth there was always a rotating door of nurses in and out. This was really a challenge for me when I was learning to nurse my son because we needed a lot of extra help. We used a syringe to feed him donor milk and later pumped milk until he was able to nurse with the nipple shield. On top of that, I got mastitis and had to take antibiotics.
The resources the nurses provided were the reason I didn’t give up and was able to nurse my son for a whole year. I can’t help but wonder how our experience would have been different, though, if we had been in the care of the home birth midwife for my son. Like we did with my daughter, we could have spent the time we needed, right away when he was first born, to get him to latch. The one-on-one attention from our midwife was really important. I think with her knowledge and care we could have had a much easier time nursing.
Support when we needed extra care
When Caroline was just a few days old she got RSV. This was another time I was so thankful to be in the care of our home birth midwife. She kept us calm in a very scary situation and gave us the resources we needed to monitor Caroline. We felt empowered to take care of our sweet little girl and educated about what it would look like if she needed care beyond what we could give her. Our midwife kept checking in on us and it was so important that she was in our corner through that experience.
My hospital birth was good but my home birth was so much better
Although I had a good hospital birth, there are important aspects of a home birth that a hospital birth really can’t offer. I think a big reason I had a positive experience at the hospital was because I showed up fully dilated. I credit to my Hypnobabies mediations. The qualities I loved about my home birth like high comfort level, better baby bonding, and more robust postpartum care are things I didn’t know I was missing with the hospital birth. Now that I’ve experienced them I will choose a home birth over and over again.
Episode links
CHECK OUT HYPNOBABIES and use code motheringjoy10 for 10% off
Listen to the podcast episode here!
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
I Never Considered Myself A “Crunchy Mama” until I decided to have a home birth.
I never really considered myself a “crunchy mama”. And yet I make my own chicken stock and I add chicken feet. I have a garden and I preserve the food from it, I cloth diaper my kids (well I try anyway), I don’t give my them Tylenol. As I’ve made choices surrounding my kids health, I’ve edged my way into, what is perhaps considered, the crunchy mom category. I landed shoulder to shoulder with other crunchy moms when I decided to have a home birth with my daughter.
Episode links
CHECK OUT HYPNOBABIES and use code motheringjoy10 for 10% off
When got diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes nothing about my care moving forward felt right
I remember talking to my sister-in-law while I was driving home from the appointment where I was diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes. I had just learned what the rest of my pregnancy would now look like.
“I kind of never want to go back there again” I told her. None of it felt right.
I didn’t know if I just didn’t want to admit to myself that I had a diagnosis or if my mama intuition was telling me that something was wrong. When I was pregnant with my son everything went perfectly. I was blessed to have a non complicated pregnancy and a beautiful water birth at a birth center that was connected to a hospital. I had the natural birth I wanted while also having the security of modern medicine if anything went wrong.
I learned a lot between my two pregnancies that were only eighteen months apart.
I unexpectedly got pregnant with my son. At that time I wasn’t very educated about birth and what I really wanted for my own birth. I wanted to have a natural birth if I could and if I couldn’t that was just fine too. I wanted was a healthy baby and I didn’t understand how decisions I made could affect that outcome. I learned a lot in-between my pregnancies about what a healthy/ideal birth looked like for me.
I learned that there has been, what I believe to be, an overmedicalization in childbirth. This has led to trusting mom’s body less and our modern technology more. This is really a disservice to moms because our bodies were designed to birth children. After I had a natural birth with my son I had a new appreciation for my body. It knew exactly what to do and pushed without me even telling it to. It was really just amazing. Suddenly, the idea of an epidural inhibiting my body from doing what it was designed to do was really counterintuitive to me.
I wanted my best chance at having a birth with zero interventions
I also learned that to have a birth with zero interventions you really need to be your own health advocate. Although C sections can be life saving it was not what I wanted for my birth if I could avoid it. With 32% of births in the US being C-section I realized I needed to be an advocate for my own health if I wanted to be on a different trajectory. In one study documented by Time Magazine, induced births were twice as likely to have a C-section delivery as those who experienced spontaneous labor.
This supports what I believe that intervention leads to more intervention. It’s likely that the standard use of epidurals and increasingly high induction rates of pregnant moms in our country are contributing factors to why one in three babies are born via cesarean.
By the time I was pregnant with my daughter I knew my ideal birth was a vaginal birth. This was for a lot of reasons including higher rate of successful breastfeeding, avoiding risks associated with major surgery, and that vaginal births prepare your baby’s lungs to breathe. The most important factor for me was the healthy bacteria baby gets going through the birth canal. Beneficial bacteria goes from the mama’s cut to baby and this boosts baby’s immune system. This blows my mind and is so affirming that this is how God designed a mama’s body to give birth.
I didn’t want to be another statistic
I heard about about the intervention me and my baby would have to go through after my diagnosis and I started to realize that maybe my ideas of a safe/successful birth didn’t align with my care providers anymore.
A close friend of mine believes that natural births in the hospital are possible but that they are the exception not the rule. After learning the hospital policy for someone diagnosed with Gestational Diabetes, I was beginning to wonder if she was right. In an effort to ensure a safe birth there were a number of interventions I would have to go through. They included extra ultrasounds and tests and the possibility of inducing labor early.
I learned that as a mom with Gestational Diabetes, along with the possibility of using insulin, I would need an extra ultrasound at 36 weeks. If the baby measured ‘large’ they would induce me a week early. Even if the baby measured ‘normal’ they would induce me on my due date because my baby could be too large for a safe delivery if I carried beyond that.
After doing some research, I learned that an ultrasound isn’t actually very reliable for predicting fetal weight near term and that there’s a recognized error rate of 15-20%. The idea of inducing labor on information that wasn’t 100% accurate didn’t feel good to me.
It’s true, I probably could have refused to move forward with these standard practices and continued with a hospital birth. But I would have been putting myself in a situation where my views on birth didn’t align with those of my care providers. I would be reducing my chances of having my birth go the way I wanted it to.
Then I met my midwife and I knew I needed to change my care.
Ultimately, I chose to change care to a home birth midwife because I felt safer. Her views on health aligned much more closely with mine. A friend had referred her to me shortly after my diagnosis. We met at a coffee shop. I intended to just to pick her brain and learn what a home birth could look like for us. It was clear in the first few minutes of chatting that her views on pregnancy and birth aligned much more with mine. I felt like an empowered mama instead of a high-risk patient needing intervention and close monitoring.
I appreciated her more robust approach to high blood sugar management customized to my specific circumstances. With her support I was able to keep my blood sugar levels in a healthy range with only diet and exercise. I ended my pregnancy feeling stronger and healthier than I had before I was pregnant.
The biggest difference was mutual trust.
There was a big difference in how I felt in with the midwife versus the hospital. The biggest was the feeling of mutual trust. I trusted her expertise on foods, supplements, and practices that could help lower my blood sugar during my pregnancy. She trusted that I knew what was best for my body and that I would take care of myself.
This trust continued into birth where she trusted that my body knew what to do to deliver a healthy baby and I trusted her to support the natural birth process and to take care of us in an emergency.
“I’m not the kind of midwife who just shows up with an herb and a prayer”, she assured us at our first meeting. She explained that her instruments and her experience of delivering thousands of babies allowed her to see an emergency situation coming from a mile away. She was equipped to stabilize both mom and baby until they got to the hospital if that became necessary.
I’m so glad I chose a home birth.
Changing our care to a home birth midwife seemed radical at first. After educating myself I knew it was right choice. My husband and I agreed that maybe it wasn’t so radical after all. I was 32 weeks pregnant when I made the really big decision to have a home birth. I’m so glad I did. I felt so supported before, during, and after the birth of our beautiful baby girl.
I understand the need for hospital policies to keep people safe. But it’s clear to me that standardized versions of care are not how birth was meant to be. Birth is such a special experience that’s unique to each mom. Home births allow for a customized birth experience where the best interest of mom and baby are at the center. I’m so glad I chose a home birth to bring my daughter into the world.
Read more about our home birth HERE.
